


Harry Potter and the Thicc Dicc Squad

by harrypotterandthethiccdiccsquad_official (alskdjfh)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, Furry, Gen, Hanzo Shimada is a Furry, Inspired by 50 Shades of Grey, M/M, Multi, Other, R Plus L Equals J, Thick as Thieves Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 17:48:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15006131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alskdjfh/pseuds/harrypotterandthethiccdiccsquad_official
Summary: Just Harry Boner.





	Harry Potter and the Thicc Dicc Squad

**Author's Note:**

> This promises to be a great story. Great first start by a promising young author. I take no prisoners and make no mistakes. DON'T underestimate me.

Harry entered the room.

He was surrounded by no fewer than 30 strapping young men.

“We are the Thicc Dicc squad,” said one of them. Harry knew he meant it.

“Real magic hours,” said Harry. “Who up?”

One, two, three. “Ayyyo, you know it,” said the entire squad in unison.

Harry stepped further into the room to take a closer look at the table. It was covered in crying and  _100_ emojis.

“LMAOOO,” said Harry. “Who did this?”

_Like to receive a free iPhone._

Harry took a big sip from his jugs. But it was Polyjuice Potion. Suddenly Harry felt his curves become thicc, and his thicc dicc become yet thiccer.

Slowly Dudley smiled. He knew the time had come. “Welcome to the Thicc Dicc squad, Harry,” he said passionately. “After this, there is no turning back.”

“Shut the fuck up, Dudley. You don’t know my lyff,” Harry said. “I’m worried that I’m drinking too much Snapple.”

“You know it, gurl,” said Snape. “Those things are full of carbs, anyhow.”

“Thanks for your advice,” said Harry.

“The Polyjuice Potion makes your curves thicc and your dick yet thiccer,” Snape explained. “You should be grateful for all we’ve done to you.”

“Thanks again, Snape,” Harry said. “But I think I could have done this on my own.”

“Most assuredly, you are a real fuccboi,” said Snape.

“You know it, bitch,” said Harry.

“Slay,” said Ludo Bagman.

"We are gathered here today," intoned Snape, "to induct young Harry into our sacred squad for the thiccest of diccs. Our initiation ritual is top secret, so it cannot be described here."

_AN: The initiation ritual is secret, so it will not be described here._

Following the ritual, Harry's luscious cheeks were indubitably _"there."_ No one could deny this, the least dubitable of truths. If you deny this, you will not have read this story properly. (Please do not deny it.)

"Congratulations," said Harry. "I am now in the Thicc Dicc squad."

"Shut the fuck up, Harry," said Dudley. "You think you're all that because you're the Chosen One and shit? We don't fuck with that here. All we need is our thicc diccs."

"Slay," said Tonks.

The Polyjuice Potion began to wear off. Harry's thicc curves dissipated... 100% thicc, 80% thicc, 68% thicc, 5% thicc, NOT THICC AT ALL!  ~~Harry was not Harry at all, but Wormtail.~~ Soon it became obvious to everyone in attendance that Harry had never been Harry at all, but Wormtail had been Harry the entire time...  _even under the staircase!_

**Author's Note:**

> That was a great story! Wow.


End file.
